A long time ago, in high school, I read Pearl Buck’s book, “The Good Earth.” One of the scenes stuck in my mind. That was when a young Chinese father was covering his baby boy’s face with mud on the way to a temple for the baby’s blessing and crying out to the sky how unfortunate he was to have such an ugly baby. It’s fuzzy whether he was the main character in the story, but he went through a series of tragedies and hardships in his life. Finally, things started going well for him, including having a beautiful baby boy. He did not think good things lasted long. So, he made up for his misfortune by covering up the baby’s face with mud.

The father’s action is ridiculous, but somehow, I cannot simply dismiss it. Deep down, many people share the same fear and are afraid of being completely happy without any safety net.

A few months ago, I had my COVID booster for internal travel. My two previous vaccinations were very painful, and sourness lasted a few days. But the nurse did this booster quickly, and I did not feel a pinch. And to my surprise, I did not have any sourness at all. I started to doubt if I had the proper vaccination. Then a few hours later, my arm got a sourness as severe as my previous vaccination. I should have enjoyed no pain for the few hours instead of worrying about not having the vaccination pain.

Sometimes we expect negative things more than positive ones and forget how to enjoy happiness and good fortune wholeheartedly. So, my lesson is to enjoy the good stuff at the moment without worrying about what’s next.

One of the side effects of COVID for me was gaining weight as my lifestyle during the seclusion became very sedentary. Most days, I grabbed a cup of coffee and started to work in pajamas all day. Since I did not have any make-up and hair done, I attended all my meetings audio-only. By the time I finished working, I did not want to do anything but eat dinner, watch YouTube and go to bed.

But during the last holiday season, I finally had more chances to get together with my friends. And when I got tagged in many Facebook photos, I could not believe what I saw – an aging woman with bulging mid-sections with a face so round and full like a squirrel getting ready for winter.

So, since this year’s beginning, I have been on a mission to get into shape. I started walking for 10 minutes a day and eating a balanced meal daily – a fundamental approach to losing weight. One thing I added to the program was to weigh myself every day.

At first, I dreaded hopping on the scale every day to see the BMI clearing showing how overweight I was. But when I saw the weight going down a few ounces here and there, I was somewhat looking forward to the daily ritual. And I learned that when I ate fat and salt-loaded meals like creamy fettuccine, I gained one pound quickly the next day. To recover from the damage, I would eat healthy salad and protein for the next two to three days to return to the weight.

After the daily eating adjustments based on the weight measurement and the walking, I lost 15 pounds and became lighter than before COVID. I feel healthier and more energetic than before.

And it dawned on me. Has my mind also become out of shape like my body during COVID? If I had a scale for mind and spirit, my mind would be in the obsessed category. I had many stressful situations at work and with family last two years. When things did not go well, I took them personally and chastised myself for incompetency. My confidence level has been ultimately low in my career. All the negative feelings I imposed on myself must weigh tons on my poor heart.

My body weight is under control. Now I am on a mission to shape my mind loaded with stressful, negative memories of the past. Every day, I must hop on an emotional scale to check my state of mind. If I had an intake of negative feelings that day, I must pour more compassion and love into myself. Day by day, I gain more healthy, positive emotions and lose negative ones and will eventually recover a healthy, happy mind before COVID.

Right before the first COVID lockdown in 2020, I walked with hiking clubs every Saturday and Sunday. I learn so much about hiking from the avid hikers in our clubs. Started from 3~4 miles easy hikes, I was up to 8 to 10-mile hikes. Then we stopped hiking for almost one year until all of us got vaccinated and feel safe doing group hikes about three months ago.

So, here I go again. I need to start building up my hiking mileages and stamina. But with the extra 15-lbs I gained over the year, my first hike with the group was more challenging than expected. Reminiscing how I felt strong on the hill hikes before, I gradually increased my miles and hill hikes for the last two months. I also decided to subscribe to hiking trails services with navigation to train by myself more. Today, I took on an 8-mile loop with 2400 feet elevation. This loop was the one I did in Feb 2020 with ten people – we had a good time climbing a couple of range peaks. 

Usually, I prepare maps, food and water, and any gear for this type of hike a night before. But I just came back from a long driving trip last night and did not have enough sleep. I started my walk one hour later than usual with 500 ml of water. I grabbed a hard copy of the loop from the last hike. When I got to the staging area parking lot, all the parking spots were taken. I had to do some street parking, adding extra yards to the hike. And I realized that I did not have my snack/food in the backpack. Probably I don’t need a snack or food – I should be done with the hike before noon when it gets close to 90 degrees.

The first 2 hours went very smoothly, although it was all uphill.
And after the first peak, I realized that I had drunk more than half the water because of the warm weather compared to the last hike in winter. But after the 2nd peak, it’s all downhill – I should be okay with the water. Then, an unexpected mishap happened. I took a wrong turn and descended 1.5 miles off the course. I had to climb back 1.5 miles with no shade. By then, there were no hikers near me. Suddenly I’m all alone with fatigue and lightheadedness from dehydration. I feared for life. What if I collapsed and nobody notices it for several hours. I had to fight off the fear with hope and imagination. I imagined reaching back to my car and driving off to the nearest coffee shot and gulp ice-cold water. I mustered all might to move my feet one at a time. The image helped me move forward but at a turtle pace. By the time I got to the junction where I made a wrong turn, I had only two sips of water left. The last leg of my hike seemed to be an eternity. Empowered by the image of me finishing this hike, I somehow managed to reach my car and drive off to the nearest coffee shop to get water.

Life’s lesson – Hope and image really work wonders in a crisis. And don’t underestimate the power of preparation. After today’s hike, I’m going back to basics: Preparation is the key to successful hiking. Check the weather to see how hot it can get. Double or triple water supply in case you get lost. Make sure that you have an extra map with you in case you lose it.

For the last few weekends, I have been busy with some events and errands. This Sunday was no exception. I had to do some chores, but I wanted to schedule in my hiking in between. Luckily, there was a regional park nearby my errands. I decided to hike a 3.5-mile loop there.

We used to hike a lot there. For some reason, it has been almost 10 years since we stopped going there. I used to walk the loop with my family as well as other families. In the beginning, there was a pleasant 1-mile gradual hill. No matter how out of shape I was, I always toughed up on this hill and let other grown-ups or kids first to say, “can I take a break here?”. But it was always worthwhile to climb when we got to see the majestic view of the mountain range 10 miles away.

So, today I was all by myself in the morning driving to this regional park. Since I have gone there for many times, I needed no navigation – just follow my memory to get there. Boy, a little did I know, the area I thought I knew transformed into a massive housing development. I made a wrong turn and got lost. With my google map, I was eventually able to get to the regional park’s gate and found the familiar winding road leading to the staging and parking area. I parked my car and head to the trail.

The beginning of the path was precisely the way I remembered. Some couples and families passed by me in the opposite direction, exchanging morning greetings. And I started climbing the 1-mile hill. It was as fierce as I remembered. I’m 10 years older but realized that I had had more experiences with long, steeper hills than that. And I was stronger physically and mentally after going through many hills and many life challenges in the last 10 years.

And just like 10 years ago, at the end of the climb was the gorgeous panoramic scenery of the mountains – what a sweet reward it was. After enjoying the view, I continued the trail. Even though the surrounding area has changed so much, the path has not been changed a bit. Mindfully taking each step, I reminisced the times we spent here with the friends and family and the long way we all have come. I completed the hike with a warm feeling inside. Sometimes it’s nice to go back and reflect on paths we have traveled.

I have been living in the same place for close to 20 years. Taking the usual walk in the morning, I was welcomed by the same familiar spring sceneries in the same neighborhood.

Just a handful of people were walking in the path since it was still early in the morning. Showering in the morning sunlight, I encountered the sight that made me smile. It was the gentleman in his late 70s with dark sunglasses. He was lead by the off-white labrador. I’m not sure how he lost his sight but I have seen him walk with the see eye dog for over ten years. Neither he nor the dog has changed much. They always stroll at their own pace. Whenever I see them, I always greet them in a loud voice from a far distance.

The last time I saw them was at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemics. I have been walking extremely early morning to avoid people’s contact. That may be the reason why I have not seen them for a long time. From a far away, they have not changed much. I put on my mask and shout, “Good morning.” As always, neither of them flinched with my voice. Probably they already heard my approaching. Just like in the past, the gentleman said “hi” in a weak voice as he passed by me.

I was glad that they were okay. I was glad that I was here to see them okay. During the rest of my walk, I looked around and enjoyed the spring blossom and happy sounds of birds chirping. It was the vernal morning I felt nature’s reviving and resilience.

After indulging in too many sweets over the holiday break, I gained several pounds I cannot shake off quickly. I meant to work out in the morning, but I ended up taking care of many chores all day. It was already dark outside when I went for a walk.

The sky was so clear this evening. The air was crisp and chilly. I regretted that I did not have gloves with me. Putting my cold hands in the pockets, I looked up the night sky and spotted Orion. Suddenly, I had a flashback from my past when I was in the first grade in elementary school. I was waiting for my parents to close the business for the day. It was already past my bedtime. The night was so cold that I could see my white breath in the street light. My parents took my cold hands, and we were briskly walking home. I should have been sleepy, but I just kept looking up at the winter sky, amazed by the three dots in the sky, Orion’s belt.

Back then, I was too young to understand what was going on, but there were times when we went through financial instability. But I know that my parents worked very hard to make ends meet for our family. Although we never had a family vacation, our parents always provided us with everything we needed.

Gazing at Orion tonight, I felt my eyes tearing, thinking about our parents no longer with us – how much they loved and cared for us. I wished that I had one more chance to say how much they meant to me and how much I appreciated them. It was a reflection moment – I hope to be a good parent to my children as my parents to us.

Recently I had a chance to talk to my friends who have a 2-year daughter. They were very concerned about dining in public places at the time of COVID-19 and spoke about the stable items in their diaper bags for safe dining-out experiences with her. One of the things was disposable placemats for kids. Ah yes, I remember how we used to deal with that…

A long time ago, when our kids were small, we used to carry sheets of parchment paper. Whenever we needed to feed them in restaurants, we would spread the parchment paper so that the kids could hand-feed themselves with a clean surface. And it was easy for us to clean their mess afterward. Many parents had the same type of disposable placement ideas, but someone actually had capitalized on the ideas!

Many inspirational books tell us that opportunities are at there all the time. But we just don’t recognize them or ignore them because we don’t have time and energy to deal with them. But there are always those who take a second glance at such opportunities and act on them. The people who we considered to be trailblazers or innovators are not much different from us. But they are the ones who were able to notice the opportunities and take time and effort to materialize them.

Because of the stay-at-home order, there were a few new habits introduced in my life, both good and bad.

The worst habit I acquired was watching YouTube 5 times more than before. I was trying to stay tuned to the latest national/world news and got sucked into watching other people’s daily routines and endless ways to bake bread. I got rid of our cable services and was able to break from TV watching. But now, as soon as I finish working, I turn on the TV screen and check my YouTube subscriptions to see any new uploads…I am learning to find the mid-ground to keep the right distance with YouTube.

The best habit I acquired was keeping the house clean. I never am a slob to beginning with, but I tend to do all the house chores at once during the weekend unless I notice the immediate cleaning needs. Since I stay home all the time, I started to see dust and spots more than before. It was just a few minutes of a toilet bowl cleaning in the morning, but I expand my cleaning ritual a little by little every day. With only 30 minutes in the morning every day, our house has been much cleaner than before.

This pandemic forced us to change our lifestyles beyond our imagination in some ways. I do not think that my life will be the same before the pandemic. But I am learning to embrace new habits and norms.